Monday, January 30, 2012

"I'm Gonna Let It Go"

Let me preface this post by saying this: welcome to my inner monologue. I am not implying that anyone said or thought the following about me. I am simply letting you inside my head.

Today, despite the sore, scratchy throat, the headache, and the slight body ache that I woke up to, I took my running clothes to work. I had planned on going out for a short 4 after work, but as the day went on I wavered on the idea. In the end, I opted to rework my week and spend the evening resting on the couch, hoping to nip the ick in the bud.
I swear to a divine being, every time I decide to skip a run, this darn Facebook group posts this freaking status:

This mentality of "push through anything" or "run every day" or "only slackers spend the evening on the couch" that I get from that just kills me. It's not just that particular status--it's a lot of the things that get posted or extolled on that site. It just drives me bonkers.
So, why did I let a stupid Facebook post get to me? Maybe it's the pressure of being "the girl from the running store". Maybe it's the myriad of healthy living related things I follow on social media. Maybe it's the mileage logging sites I am on. Either way, no matter what decisions I make regarding myself and this sport, I never feel like it's enough. Little things that shouldn't matter wedge their way under my skin. So, even with the ick feeling, I still did planks, sit-ups, tri-dips, and pushup, so I can try to reassure myself that the day wasn't wasted. It wasn't a wash.
OK, I <3 to Run. Put me in that "didn't" category. I did not run today. I did not run today, because I just didn't want to. That does not make me a bad runner. It does not make me a "not real" runner, whatever the heck that means. It means that I did not feel well, and I opted to take a day and let my body regroup. It means I will come back stronger because of it. I am not in active race training, I am just maintaining. Moreover, I am learning perspective. Part of that is that if I want to keep running as part of my lifestyle, I have to stop comparing myself to others. It means I have to be OK with my decisions and not make them based on what I perceive others reactions to be. There is a difference between something being inspring and something just driving me to a point of anger. And, if something as freaking petty as a Facebook status can make me jump to my blog screaming, then I know what a good step to take right now will be.


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