Tuesday, April 24, 2012

"Frustrated, Incorporated"

For 2 1/2 brilliant weeks, I was starting to feel OK about Grandma's training. I was starting to feel OK about going in to marathon training. I was thinking maybe I was actually being someone of worth at my place of employment. Maybe, maybe, this was all going to work.
Then, cue plague, pt 2.
It started hitting on Friday. My 12 mile run was marked with disgusting coughing spasms and stops for the all-classy "snot rocket". I made it, but in no good time, and not feeling the best afterward.
Saturday arrives. I'm coughing like I'm a stage 4 emphysema patient. Probably not fit to be in public, but there I was behind the counter at DRC, battling Tent Sale crowds. Despite my co-worker's pleas, I stick out the entire shift.
Sunday--same. This time, I call in, hoping ANOTHER day of laying around on the couch, once again leaving my coworkers hanging.
Monday--same! Not feeling bad, aside from the incessant hacking, I go to work and about my business, but was sent home.
So, I broke down, and for the first time in years I went to the doctor. Despite my deep, complete fear of doctors and the entire healthcare industry, the woman I saw was fantastic. She narrowed it down to 2 possibilities--either an atypical bronchitis or RSV. We're throwing a Z-pack at it, and one more day of being a lazy, worthless, co-worker letting down, hacking pile of useless, and hopefully this will do the damn trick this time.
Is my frustration showing at all in that last sentence? Because that was my intent. I'm beyond frustrated at myself and the situation. I feel like I should just tough through it, keep training, be at work, do all the housework, be the supergirl. I feel that is the expectation, and I'm letting others and myself down by not hitting it. It's leaving me incredibly, incredibly frustrated and angry.
So, body: listen up. This whoe non-functioning thing is no longer an option. It's time to get your act together. We have stuff to do. We have a job to do, we have a race to train for. It's time to knock off the sickness routine and get back to it.

1 comment:

  1. I understand your frustration, but sometimes you need to listen to your body instead of he other way around.

    And you're not letting anyone down by not going to work when you're sick. I sent one of my girls home yesterday. If its me, I'd rather have you working when you're on top of your game and be at home getting better when you're not.

    Hope you feel better soon. :)


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